His Secret Obsession vs The Devotion System: Which Women's Relationship Guide?

Both guides teach women real, research-adjacent skills for reconnecting with a man. The key difference is how you learn best: His Secret Obsession is a reading-based framework you apply on your own schedule; The Devotion System is a structured video course with a workbook you follow step by step.

Quick Comparison

	His Secret Obsession	The Devotion System
Best For	Women in a relationship that has gone cold; want a framework to understand what’s happening	Women new to dating/relationship coaching; prefer video lessons over reading
Method	Hero Instinct framework (specific appreciation + making him feel needed)	6-module video course on attraction and communication skills
Formats	Single book (~200 pages, PDF)	6 video modules + PDF workbook + 2 bonus ebooks
Price	$47 one-time	$43 one-time
Recurring	Optional coaching subscription (rebills monthly if opted in)	Optional members’ area (rebills monthly if not canceled)
Refund	60 days, ClickBank-honored	60 days, ClickBank-honored
Research Base	Gottman (turning toward), Sue Johnson (EFT), attachment theory	General attraction and communication psychology
Rating	9.2/10	8.6/10

His Secret Obsession: Best if the relationship has gone quiet

Use this if:

• You’re in a long-term relationship that has emotionally cooled but hasn’t ended
• You want to understand the psychology before deciding what to do
• You learn by reading and reflecting on a framework
• You want something shorter — one book to read over a weekend

The method: The Hero Instinct framework teaches that men respond strongly to two specific things — feeling genuinely appreciated (not generic compliments, but specific recognition of things others miss) and feeling needed in a way that matters to them. The book shows how to express both, and why those expressions rebuild connection.

Strength: The framework is grounded in real couples research. The appreciation chapters overlap directly with John Gottman’s “turning toward” concept and Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Therapy. The writing is calmer and more honest than the sales page suggests.

Weakness: It’s a reading-only product. The “secret phrases” chapters can feel scripted if used word-for-word. The coaching subscription upsell at checkout can catch buyers off guard.

Cost reality: $47 for the book. The coaching subscription upsell is optional and rebills monthly. Decline it and your total cost is $47.

The Devotion System: Best if you prefer video and want a structured plan

Use this if:

• You’re newer to relationship advice and want a guided, step-by-step course
• You learn better from watching video than from reading
• You want a workbook to fill in as you go
• You want to apply skills both to attracting someone new and to deepening an existing relationship

The method: Amy North’s 6-module course walks through attraction psychology, communication scripts, and what pulls a man toward commitment. Each module builds on the last, and the companion workbook gives you exercises to do after each session.

Strength: The video format is more beginner-friendly than a book. The workbook turns concepts into concrete exercises you can practice the same week. At $43 it is slightly cheaper than His Secret Obsession.

Weakness: The content is less grounded in named research than His Secret Obsession. The optional members’ area rebills monthly if you accept it at checkout — easy to forget about. Less specific to the “relationship that went cold” scenario.

Cost reality: $43 for the full course. Optional members’ area rebills $27/month if you opt in. Decline the upsell and your cost is $43.

Which one should you choose?

Pick His Secret Obsession if:

• Your relationship is already established but has gone quiet or emotionally distant
• You prefer reading over watching video
• You want a framework backed by named couples research (Gottman, Sue Johnson)
• You want to understand the dynamic before deciding whether to act

Pick The Devotion System if:

• You are newer to relationship coaching and want a guided, video-based intro
• You learn better by watching lessons in order and filling in a workbook
• Your situation is broader — not just a cooling relationship, but dating and attraction more generally
• You find books harder to stay with than short video modules

Real talk

Both books are legitimate products that deliver what they describe. Neither will fix a relationship where a partner is unwilling to reconnect — no book does that.

His Secret Obsession is the better pick if you want to understand why a partner has pulled away and apply a research-adjacent framework right away. The $47 price and the calmer-than-expected writing make it a better single purchase for that specific situation.

The Devotion System is the better pick if you are newer to relationship advice, prefer video, and want a course with structure you can follow in order over several sessions.

If you are not sure which situation applies, start with His Secret Obsession. It is a shorter read and will clarify whether the framework applies to your specific situation. Both come with 60-day ClickBank refunds — if either is not the right fit after two weeks, request your money back.